Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Gay vs Homosexual by Ethan

Well I had originally planned on making this post on my blog but I thought it would be perfect here on Biki's 2nd blog. My name is Ethan. I am 18 years old live in Iowa in the USA and have a blog called Slowly Coming Out. to learn more about me

And now my post

So I was talking to Ryan and he had posted a picture of himself on his facebook with a rainbow style tie with the caption of  "sometimes a gay guy just needs to release his inner rainbow!"
Now I could have asked him to just remove the caption but truth be told I still wouldn't have liked the picture.

You see when I see that flag the first thing that pops in my mind is flaming gays. You know exactly who I'm talking about; gays who sound and act more like girls than girls among other stuff. I mean they have a right to act the way they want and I'm not going to stop them or tell them they should change their ways BUT that doesn't mean I like it.

I mean like it or not (and I don't), the media likes to take the really gay guys and put them on tv b/c they are doing the most outlandish stuff, wearing the craziest stuff, and acting crazy too and it is good for the ratings and they like it too. Especially Gay Pride. I have none what so ever after seeing what those people do on TV.

I think what people don't realize that a group of gays hate it. Why? b/c we are trying to convince our family/friends/co-workers and anybody else that we are still normal people but just like people of the same-sex but that shouldn't be any reason for us not to be looked down on. But we aren't having much luck b/c this is ALL they see on tv and if they see anything else they don't believe it could ever happen in real life.

So yeah I don't like nor do I care for it. I think that is nice that people can be like this and are happy but I think it's going to be a long time before we can have a good balance of it in the media but really who would want a normal gay couple on TV which wont do anything when you can have a flaming gay or 2 on TV which could boost ratings a lot?

You may say that I shouldn't judge them before I get to know them but I say why not? They aren't helping me be gay so why should I help them?

Leave Comments


B. said...

I didn't know where to comment and I really wanted to express my opinion... So I'm copying the comment from your blog here, too...


"I've read the post and I totally agree with you... I also hate when they make the gay "stereotype" and then all gays and "different" people by default need to be like that... I simply hate that!!!

If you are gay, you don't need to act so slutty and so promiscuous to all world to see... leave it for yourself, it should be your private stuff.

Well done on the post...!!!"

Ryan said...

I understand what you are saying and i do agree with it in some respects. I agree that the imagery they show on the screen and on the news can def lend a side of promiscuity and whore like tendencies to our group.

That said, I personally believe that small prideful actions like posting a simple picture on facebook or Puttign a rainbow sticker/magnet on something of yours like a laptop or car is a safe, non intrusive way to say "Hey! I am gay, and I am proud of that fact!"

But that opinion aside, I think it is important to remember that even if you do not want to act like a slut (like most of these flamers seem to do) and you do not like to plaster your property with rainbows or pink that it is important to still be proud of who you are.

Do not lose pride for being you, the way God made you.

Lots of love and thanks for the post!


Earl Grey said...

I won't be too hard on these opinions, but I would like to defend the 'flamers' out there.

Well no, the term flamer, while not necessarily offensive, contributes to some pretty harmful situations. In fact it's downright homophobic.

It may not seem as harmful as blatant examples of violence the queer community faces on a daily basis, but it is equally confining. It reinforces ideas that there are acceptable ways to be gay. This binary necessitates a system of power which causes 'flamers' to be looked down upon even amongst the queer community. This means that for many young people with effeminate or boisterous mannerisms often characterised by the Pride movement, they will always be derided, even if they embrace who they are.

On the other hand, this may seem like a good deal for those 'acceptable' gays, the idea that society treats you as an equal only because you play by the rules is a conditional acceptance. So that, even if you are welcomed into society, you must still be closeted. And who wants that?

So let's remember that the reason the rainbow is used to celebrate in our community, is because we are all different; and acknowledgement of these differences without judgement keeps us strong.

Anonymous said...

You make it sound like being me 1st and gay 2nd a bad thing.

What is this whole "acceptable" gay business you are talking about?
I feel like I just got insulted just b/c I refused to act like the flaming gays

I like to point out that is the flaming gays who give being gay a bad name in places where the only type of gays the see are the flames on tv and think they are all the same.

So do I want them to hide or vanish from the face of the Earth? I doubt they would nor do I want them. Really you can't live with them nor can you live with out them so what can I do? Learn to deal with it and move on

In the end I still don't like flaming gays but I will learn to deal with them but I warn them if they don't cool it a bit I will be pissed and I wont be the only one

uncutplus said...

Ethan, I agree with you entirely. Those of us gays who pass in the world as just ordinary people (what some would call straight-acting) are never seen by conservative right-wingers and thus don't understand that we are your doctors, lawyers, bankers, next-door neighbors and the rest of society that they deem OK. Usually it takes a straight-acting gay member of a family to make others understand that we are not "different." Until enough of us are "out" in society and look like most normal folk and not flamers, we will not get the respect that we deserve.

Waffles said...

without the "flamers" there would be no modern gay movement. The drag queens threw the first stone at the stonewall riots...

the flamers make change, the ones that just pass have to hide until the hetero's hand us rights...
well behaved women rarely make history

so don't emulate them, don't let yourself think that they're going to make room for you at the table, be proud to be whoever you are and realise that it takes all different kinds of people

Anonymous said...

@ Waffles
That is all true yes

What they did THEN and NOW are NOT the same. The saying "Can't live with them, can't live w/o them" applies here.

They fail to realize that they need to move over b/c not everyone wants to be flamers and that if they want more progress to me made then they are going to have to let the other gays (who are judged by who they are 1st and seen as gay 2nd) work on it.

I left a response on my blog for you

Waffles said...

no the times they are a changing... and the effeminate and proud are too. They don't do what they do for political reasons. They used to when it was all they could do. now they do what they do because that's them. They are, as you point out to old earl, 'me 1st and gay 2nd.' The difference is that for them there is little distinction. Asking them to butch up, is a little like asking you to act more effeminate.

Regardless of who they fuck, they are going to be irritating to you. If this is the case, be irritated, but don't drag pride into it by labelling people as 'flamers.' pride is a movement and a feeling which was once, and still is, a unifying force for gay people. When you call people flamers you break that unity and perpetuate the hatred that those 'flamers' have faced their entire lives. i get that not everyone wants to associate themselves with the pride movement, and that's fine, just don't expect all people to abandon their pride....
anyway i'm tired and my buzz is wearing thin...
g'night all

Anonymous said...

Hmm I wonder if anyone will get the notifications left on this blog. I doubt it but I will try anyway.

I do agree with your first half of your comment.

Not sure about then but I do know know that I don't feel so strongly about flamers as I once did. In fact I think I want to do a follow up post about this.

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