Weapon Detected from Georgy Molodtsov on Vimeo.
This ad is the best of both worlds, sexy and it gets the message across.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Injustice at Every Turn by Rea Carey
When I was a young person living in Washington, D.C., in 1995, a well-known local hairstylist was driving home one night and her car hit a tree. Paramedics rushed to the scene and cut off her clothes in an attempt to provide lifesaving medical care.
When they saw that Tyra Hunter was transgender, the medic swore at Ms. Hunter and stopped all medical treatment.
Stopped all medical treatment.
Tyra Hunter died later that night, and today, the discrimination and abuse that caused Tyra Hunter’s entirely preventable death are still firmly in place. I could not help but think of Tyra when I read the following comments that are part of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality’s just-released report, "Injustice at Every Turn."
“The fear of being the victim of a hate crime has also meant that I haven't lived completely freely; I know that if people on the street knew that I was born female, I'd be at risk of violence or harassment.”
“People are suffering in my school. There are so many trans kids that just can't come out because they are afraid.”
“I have been harassed and physically assaulted on the street. One time, I didn't go to the hospital until I went home, changed [out of feminine] clothes, and then went to the emergency room in male mode. I had a broken collarbone as a result of that attack.”
These are the words of transgender and gender-nonconforming Americans, and sadly, their experiences are not uncommon. The hunger to be visible, to share experiences of harm and resiliency is notable, as this became the largest ever study of its kind. A total of 6,500 transgender and gender-nonconforming people from all 50 states and several territories shared with us their experiences of discrimination.
The data we collected was shocking. I know firsthand, from my friends and my work at the Task Force, that discrimination remains a tragic fact of life for far too many in our community. I know that if we do not act in stereotypical “male” or “female” ways, many take this nonconformity as an open invitation to harass or act violently toward us.
Even with all I have seen over the years, the picture coming out of our study is deeply disturbing. Transgender individuals live in poverty at nearly four times the national rate. They are twice as likely to be unemployed. Over 25% reported that they had lost a job due to their transgender identity. They are twice as likely to be homeless, four times more likely to be HIV-positive, and perhaps most appallingly, 41% have attempted suicide, more than 26 times the rate (1.6%) of the general population.
These are not problems that any of us who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, or civil rights-minded, progressive, or feminist can afford to ignore.
People of color consistently experienced the greatest degree of discrimination, especially African-Americans. They had four times the unemployment rate of the nation, and had over 40 times the general population rate of HIV infection.
This must stop. Let us all make this the moment that the civil rights, progressive, feminist, and LGBT rights movements wake up and change the way we do our work. No longer can the needs of transgender and gender-variant people in our society, in our organizations, and in our communities be pushed to the side. It is literally killing people and we must work together to stop it.
While great strides have been made for equality in the last several decades, most recently with the powerful repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, the last letter in “LGBT” has simply not seen the same progress. Indeed, the successful repeal of DADT will still not allow out transgender people to serve in the military.
Sadly, even some members of the lesbian, gay and bisexual community turn our backs on transgender people. And yet our struggle is one that is shared. Each of us has a gender identity and gender expression. and those of us who diverge from the norm are subject to the same discrimination. Feminine gay men and masculine or androgynous lesbians are far more likely to be discriminated against than gay men and lesbians whose behavior and appearance conforms more to societal norms about how men and women “should” act. Simply by being gay, lesbian, or bisexual, we are breaking society’s rules about what it means to be a man or woman.
Transgender people face this same prejudice, yet taken to the life-threatening extreme. This is about all of us. For those who do not think so, I hope this information will be a wake-up call and an opportunity to examine their feelings and yes, biases, that prevent our community from uniting in the ways we must to achieve equal treatment for all of us.
This report is a clarion call to all of us, and its findings cannot be ignored. We must stand against all forms of discrimination and end injustice for all LGBT people, wherever it exists. Together, we can eliminate this prejudice and work toward a society where we are all truly free to be who we are. There is a role for each of us in reckoning with the pervasive inhumanity we’ve documented in this report.
Transgender people are discriminated against because they don’t act or look in a way that fits with conventional ideas about gender. All men, women and children – regardless of how they identify – are hurt by these rigid gender codes. They suppress authentic expression throughout our society and negatively impact relationships across gender, as family, friends, coworkers and spouses “police” acceptable gender expression.
If there was a ray of light in our study findings, it is in the resilience of transgender people and their families. Contrary to popular mythology, transgender people often maintain ties with their families of origin and their spouses, partners and children. We found that family acceptance had a protective affect against suicide, HIV, homelessness and other negative consequences of discrimination for study participants. This finding affirms what we know as advocates working on the front lines: families are enormously burdened by the hostile environments their transgender children, spouses and parents are living in, but they press on.
They often strain to find a way out of no way.
Over 1,000 people came to Tyra Hunter’s funeral in DC. Her high school shop teacher, her parents, her clients, and her big, extended family. But no medic was ever disciplined or fired because of what happened that night. This report is written to draw a line in the sand against this pervasive inhumanity in our midst.
We all need to use this opportunity to change the way we work and live to create a world that affirms the humanity of and empowers transgender people to fully participate in our society. We must all work strenuously and continuously for justice.
http://www.advocate.com/News/News_Features/Injustice_at_Every_Turn/
You can read the report yourself by googling Injustice at Every Turn. It is a PDF file.
When they saw that Tyra Hunter was transgender, the medic swore at Ms. Hunter and stopped all medical treatment.
Stopped all medical treatment.
Tyra Hunter died later that night, and today, the discrimination and abuse that caused Tyra Hunter’s entirely preventable death are still firmly in place. I could not help but think of Tyra when I read the following comments that are part of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and National Center for Transgender Equality’s just-released report, "Injustice at Every Turn."
“The fear of being the victim of a hate crime has also meant that I haven't lived completely freely; I know that if people on the street knew that I was born female, I'd be at risk of violence or harassment.”
“People are suffering in my school. There are so many trans kids that just can't come out because they are afraid.”
“I have been harassed and physically assaulted on the street. One time, I didn't go to the hospital until I went home, changed [out of feminine] clothes, and then went to the emergency room in male mode. I had a broken collarbone as a result of that attack.”
These are the words of transgender and gender-nonconforming Americans, and sadly, their experiences are not uncommon. The hunger to be visible, to share experiences of harm and resiliency is notable, as this became the largest ever study of its kind. A total of 6,500 transgender and gender-nonconforming people from all 50 states and several territories shared with us their experiences of discrimination.
The data we collected was shocking. I know firsthand, from my friends and my work at the Task Force, that discrimination remains a tragic fact of life for far too many in our community. I know that if we do not act in stereotypical “male” or “female” ways, many take this nonconformity as an open invitation to harass or act violently toward us.
Even with all I have seen over the years, the picture coming out of our study is deeply disturbing. Transgender individuals live in poverty at nearly four times the national rate. They are twice as likely to be unemployed. Over 25% reported that they had lost a job due to their transgender identity. They are twice as likely to be homeless, four times more likely to be HIV-positive, and perhaps most appallingly, 41% have attempted suicide, more than 26 times the rate (1.6%) of the general population.
These are not problems that any of us who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, or civil rights-minded, progressive, or feminist can afford to ignore.
People of color consistently experienced the greatest degree of discrimination, especially African-Americans. They had four times the unemployment rate of the nation, and had over 40 times the general population rate of HIV infection.
This must stop. Let us all make this the moment that the civil rights, progressive, feminist, and LGBT rights movements wake up and change the way we do our work. No longer can the needs of transgender and gender-variant people in our society, in our organizations, and in our communities be pushed to the side. It is literally killing people and we must work together to stop it.
While great strides have been made for equality in the last several decades, most recently with the powerful repeal of the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, the last letter in “LGBT” has simply not seen the same progress. Indeed, the successful repeal of DADT will still not allow out transgender people to serve in the military.
Sadly, even some members of the lesbian, gay and bisexual community turn our backs on transgender people. And yet our struggle is one that is shared. Each of us has a gender identity and gender expression. and those of us who diverge from the norm are subject to the same discrimination. Feminine gay men and masculine or androgynous lesbians are far more likely to be discriminated against than gay men and lesbians whose behavior and appearance conforms more to societal norms about how men and women “should” act. Simply by being gay, lesbian, or bisexual, we are breaking society’s rules about what it means to be a man or woman.
Transgender people face this same prejudice, yet taken to the life-threatening extreme. This is about all of us. For those who do not think so, I hope this information will be a wake-up call and an opportunity to examine their feelings and yes, biases, that prevent our community from uniting in the ways we must to achieve equal treatment for all of us.
This report is a clarion call to all of us, and its findings cannot be ignored. We must stand against all forms of discrimination and end injustice for all LGBT people, wherever it exists. Together, we can eliminate this prejudice and work toward a society where we are all truly free to be who we are. There is a role for each of us in reckoning with the pervasive inhumanity we’ve documented in this report.
Transgender people are discriminated against because they don’t act or look in a way that fits with conventional ideas about gender. All men, women and children – regardless of how they identify – are hurt by these rigid gender codes. They suppress authentic expression throughout our society and negatively impact relationships across gender, as family, friends, coworkers and spouses “police” acceptable gender expression.
If there was a ray of light in our study findings, it is in the resilience of transgender people and their families. Contrary to popular mythology, transgender people often maintain ties with their families of origin and their spouses, partners and children. We found that family acceptance had a protective affect against suicide, HIV, homelessness and other negative consequences of discrimination for study participants. This finding affirms what we know as advocates working on the front lines: families are enormously burdened by the hostile environments their transgender children, spouses and parents are living in, but they press on.
They often strain to find a way out of no way.
Over 1,000 people came to Tyra Hunter’s funeral in DC. Her high school shop teacher, her parents, her clients, and her big, extended family. But no medic was ever disciplined or fired because of what happened that night. This report is written to draw a line in the sand against this pervasive inhumanity in our midst.
We all need to use this opportunity to change the way we work and live to create a world that affirms the humanity of and empowers transgender people to fully participate in our society. We must all work strenuously and continuously for justice.
http://www.advocate.com/News/News_Features/Injustice_at_Every_Turn/
You can read the report yourself by googling Injustice at Every Turn. It is a PDF file.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Bigotry and inciting violence, just a normal day
Ok, maybe he should have gotten a new birth certificate before trying to get married. I mean he has to know the amount of bigotry loose in the world. But still he had the important piece of paper showing that he is legally a male. I found the story here. Now, I should have known that anything posted on this website would be not tolerant of GLBT people, but some of what they did say blew me away. Here are the couple that really bothered me:
Regardless of surgery the DNA chromosomal makeup remains the same either XY or XX.
I am continually surprised by peoples stupidly, bigotry, and the ease with which we hate others that are different. Why is that? What is hard wired within humans that causes us to easily hate members of our own species?
It seemingly takes a certain amount of time before the hated group begins to be absorbed into our society. When the hatred that had been focused looses it't target, a new victim must be found to be the scapegoat. Throughout the history of our country many groups have shared the hate spotlight, and each of them have lost their status as "most hated" and really the only ones left to center the bright hot hate light on is the GLBT.
Today over at I should be laughing, Bob was talking about the hate that Sir Elton John and his husband David Furnish have had heaped upon them. Ok, so I get it, many religious people don't agree with gays and lesbians being parents. And thats fine, it's an opinion, it shouldn't be the law of the land, but one can hold whatever opinion they wish.
However, this is where I begin to get mad, play along with me ok? You are watching the news, and they are airing a segment talking about issues within the black community, let's say education. The program will have on talking heads to discuss the "problem" Experts in education, possibly a concerned parent or two. This would not even get an eye blink from you, yeah? Its news as usual. Now, along with the education experts and a parent, add in a member of the Klu Klux Klan. Can you imagine the fire storm that would occur? Yeah, and rightly so.
None of the news agencies anywhere within our country, no matter how bigoted the area is, would ever even consider adding in a hate group to talk about black issues. Why oh why do the news agencies feel that its ok to invite GLBT hate groups to talk about issues that concern us? Where is our firestorm to burn this sort of mass stupidity out of society? The only thing that comes to mind is for GLBT and our allies to band together to protest loudly every time they do something this hurtful, this stupid, and this dangerous.
Dangerous?
Yes, dangerous. Because society sanctioned open hate causes violence. It allows parents to throw their children out for being GLBT. Children absorb the views of their parents, and this is the leading cause of bullying in schools.
Could it be the news people are clueless? Could it be that in trying to be fair to both sides, they don't realize what they are perpetuating? Yes, I've told you before my glass is nearly full, rabid optimist here. Having said that, the only reason things changed for blacks is because they stopped sitting in the back of the bus, stopped paying attention to the signs, and started making noise. I know, they are visible for all to see, and for the most part we are not. Could it be that it's time for us to make some noise, to become visible, to speak up when ever we hear the rude comments?
This summer one of my son's girl friends, was talking about a worker in a local store. She kept referring to her as "it" Why? Well because this is a transwoman, and she doesn't "pass" well. I told her,"That isn't nice! Stop it! She's a person, a human." I'm not sure if it made any impact on her, but I wasn't going to sit an let her say cruel things. I have stopped these females of my son's several times before about saying horrid things about GLBT before. And what strikes me so odd? Is I have never heard any of our sons say one nasty word against GLBT, ever! Why they didn't attract a more tolerant brand of females is beyond me.
Acceptance and love can be bigger than hate, and their is plenty for all.
Monday, December 20, 2010
A Shining Star of Activism in the Arizona Desert by Bobby Parker
With the help of the Arizona ACLU, Caleb successfully fought to have his Willow Canyon High School's discrimination policies revised. But he didn't stop there.
A child of the Internet age, on December 1st in a 12-hour non-stop barrage of 3,000 emails Caleb put all individual schools and school districts in our state on notice. He didn't stop there.
Notices were also sent to local city councils, county commissioners, legislators (state and federal) within each district, along with the State Department of Education, Attorney General's office, and the Office of the Governor. So that no one in the state was missed, at the same time he sent a press release to all news outlets in the state.
During the year Caleb contacted all 50 legislatures in our nation.
I am familiar with his comprehensive list of media outlets and personal contacts because due to his efforts the most widely reported GLBT activism event of the year was the recent suicide prevention outreach at the Mormon Temple in Mesa. All the major TV stations carried the story, with one having it as the 10 p.m. news lead story. Caleb communicated personally with each one to assure adequate coverage.
As Executive Director of Gays and Lesbians United Against Discrimination (GLUAD), an organization he founded, Caleb reminded everyone in the state of Arizona involved with keeping our school children safe of the recent spate of suicides of gay teens nationwide, their legal obligations to protect children in their schools, and gave them a comprehensive list of remedial measures they can use to correct failed policies.
However, Caleb went a step further showing that he means business. He said:
If we are acknowledged of any of the following, a suit will promptly be sought:
A suicide attempt or success due to bullying,
Issue of bullying or harassment reported and not handled properly, or inadequate punishment given,
Teacher or administrator failing to intervene or are expressing hate themselves.
He threatened to sue anyone who fails to follow policies to protect our children. He means it!
In case they need help, this is what Caleb offered:
We would be happy to refer you to organizations and experts who could work with you to develop and implement an appropriate long-term plan to create schools that are safe and productive for all children enrolled within the school district.
Please have your counsel contact me no later than Monday, December 20th about the steps and plans to be taken.
I became friends with Caleb via phone conversations around the time of the National Equality March on the Capitol in D.C. When I looked around to see whom in our state was going to coordinate it turned out Caleb and GLUAD were the first to sign up. In talking to him I had no idea he was only 15 years old at the time. His presence on the phone indicated someone in his late 20's.
Later we invited Caleb to the planning meeting as we resurrected the Arizona Stonewall Democrats, to bring us a view from the youth. We've been friends and confidants since. I relate as an activist or grandpa, whichever he needs at the time.
Here are responses from two of Arizona's leading activists re: Caleb:
Caleb came to my attention through his work at creating a national organization to work to promote a positive image of gay and lesbian people (GLUAD). Though he was still quite young, he had the determination and drive to make contact with legislators across the country and in the US Congress - asking them to support equality for all their citizens. In the intervening years, I've seen nothing less than this same level of effort from Caleb. He is a bright, articulate young man who is standing on the side of justice. I think we will find that he is long remembered by those whose lives were bettered because of his work.
- Rev. Brad Wishon, Vice-President, of No Longer Silent: Clergy for Justice
After interacting with Caleb, you have to stop to remember that he is only a teenager. He comes across as a very articulate, motivated, and professional activist who could be mistaken for twice his actual age. A review of his work lends credence to this impression, as he approaches his mission with thoroughness and thoughtfulness that would be the envy of many adults. He is an example of what true motivation and dogged determination can do for people operating in the bleakest of environments, and thus is an inspiration for many.
- Steve Brittle, Environmental Activist and Political Consultant
When he was 15, Caleb wrote the following. Since then he has been successful in changing his school, and is now focusing on all of Arizona's schools. I'm so thankful this time of year for Caleb and what he is doing. In his own words:
My name is Caleb Laieski. I am a 15-year-old gay teenager living and attending high school in Surprise, Arizona.
As a gay youth in a public school system, I have endured a relentless amount of harassment, threats, and bullying simply because I am an openly gay teenager. During my 8th grade year of school, I finally acknowledged to the public and myself that I am, in fact, gay. As the news of my gay "outing" made the rounds at school, anti-gay slurs and intolerance began. Words like fag and homo became a daily way of life for me.
The situation became worse once I started high school. The harassment, slurs, and death threats became bolder, more frequent, and the vast majority of teachers failed to intervene. In fact, one teacher said in front of other students, that all gays are "going to hell." As those issues worsened, I contacted the school district countless times for help. Help never came.
I am not alone in this. A very close friend of mine who is openly gay himself told me about how he is experiencing the same concerns. He once attempted suicide by drinking almost an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol. He has also done other things to harm his body in the past.
All of these issues contribute to the alarming statistics; a member of the LGBT youth community will attempt suicide within the next 40 minutes.
On March 24, 2010, at about 1:45 p.m., while walking home from the bus stop, I was approached by multiple male individuals in a vehicle yelling "F*** you Caleb, you f***ing faggot" followed by "f*** gay people" with finger gestures.
The Dysart School District also claims that they do not discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, religion, or age, but exclude sexual orientation and gender identity. If the school district were so serious on this matter, without hesitation it would amend and enforce a policy that covers sexual orientation and gender identity. The handbook states that first offense of hate speech will be punished a 2-3 day suspension and eligibility for a police report to be filed, yet they rarely enforce that. Additionally, their handbook claims that teachers and administrators are required to intervene. Again, they often fail to do so.
On May 13, 2010, at lunchtime, I was again confronted by a male student stating "I'm gonna sock you in the face, you f***in homo" followed by the word "Faggot". While the school administration acknowledged the incident, the vice-principal made light of the situation, stating that she knew the student involved because "He's in my office often." She said she would address it with him privately.
Concerns for my safety, well being and emotional stress caused by these repeated incidents were shooed out the door, leaving me to wonder whether or not I would make it through the day without being attacked. I was so scared that I walked out of school that day because I was afraid for my life.
Since that time, I have spoken with the vice-principal and the school district. Nothing transpired. Fortunately, I made it through school that time without any major incidents. But what does my future hold? Will I have to submit to ongoing harassment, threats, and bullying for the rest of my educational career? Will I end up being one of the teens that attempts suicide, develops a drug or alcohol problem; or end up homeless on the streets?
The school bullying resulted in a lack of enthusiasm in continuing the high school experience. It has also resulted in dramatic slipping of grades, failing math, and skipping classes out of fear.
In 2008, I became an activist one month before elections on Proposition 102 (Arizona) and Proposition 8 (California) - both defining marriage as a right only available between one man and one woman.
After the passage of both propositions, my frustrations led me to begin researching and investigating Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) rights and offering my assistance to local and national organizations.
I gained some very essential experience and positive support from these organizations. But there is so much work to be done and I felt the need to start my own organization to achieve substantial positive change sooner!
So, I had the vision of founding my own organization -- Gays and Lesbians United Against Discrimination (GLUAD) to help support the LGBT local and national communities. I worked day and night to make sure this vision became a reality.
In January 2009, GLUAD began writing to legislatures in all 50 states with literature containing insight on LGBT issues. After a year of unexpected challenges, it became apparent to me how critical legislation is in providing essential changes towards LGBT equality. As a gay youth having survived my own issues, I felt that GLUAD could make the most crucial impact by focusing on LGBT youth communities both locally and nationally. I reached out to other LGBT youth.
I continue hearing stories from other students whose lives echoed mine. Their stories have all contained common threads of serious harassment, threats, and bullying. I've also heard stories of unheard victims of violence and abuse. It made me angry! Angry to the point that I began an intensive search for answers that shocked, saddened, and horrified me. These statistics has shown me the alarming amount of homeless teenagers and even worse -the preventable teen suicide rate.
Currently, GLUAD is in the process of opening a homeless shelter focusing primarily on LGBT runaways or displaced people. We will provide housing for LGBT youth, adults, elderly and other members of the homeless community that have nowhere to go and no one to help them. GLUAD is continuing to work with all 50 state legislatures to address LGBT statistics, background and work for protective legislation.
My hope is to prevent people from experiencing the same type of harassment, threats, and bullying that I had to endure during my teen years. My mission is for LGBT people to have the same rights, goals and dreams of every other person in this country; to have somewhere to go, and someone to turn to when the world turns its back on them!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
PFLAG/LA Founder Adele Starr Has Died by Karen Ocamb
Adele Starr, founder of the large Los Angeles chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, died in her sleep Friday night, the Los Angeles Times reported Sunday. She was 90.
Starr founded PFLAG/LA in 1976 - a group that still marches in the annual Christopher Street West Pride Parade every year to grateful applause. Her efforts to education others about LGBT rights included speaking on the steps of the US Capitol during the historic 1979 national march in Washington DC. She became the organization's first national president in 1981 - with her den as national headquarters - just as former California Gov. Ronald Reagan assumed the presidency. She remained PFLAG president through the torturous early years of the AIDS epidemic when gay men such as her son were routinely vilified.
As a stay-at-home mother of five from Brentwood, she fought back and cajoled and sweet-talked whomever she encountered to get equal rights for her gay son, and by extension, the LGBT community. And she told parents it wasn't their "fault" their son or daughter was gay - a prevalent opinion at the time and a feeling of guilt she herself had overcome.
Starr founded PFLAG/LA in 1976 - a group that still marches in the annual Christopher Street West Pride Parade every year to grateful applause. Her efforts to education others about LGBT rights included speaking on the steps of the US Capitol during the historic 1979 national march in Washington DC. She became the organization's first national president in 1981 - with her den as national headquarters - just as former California Gov. Ronald Reagan assumed the presidency. She remained PFLAG president through the torturous early years of the AIDS epidemic when gay men such as her son were routinely vilified.As a stay-at-home mother of five from Brentwood, she fought back and cajoled and sweet-talked whomever she encountered to get equal rights for her gay son, and by extension, the LGBT community. And she told parents it wasn't their "fault" their son or daughter was gay - a prevalent opinion at the time and a feeling of guilt she herself had overcome.
In response to an antigay move by conservatives to take over an Antelope Valley school board in 1995, Starr wrote a letter to the LA Times about how her gay son Phillip deserved the "same rights and freedoms as others," including the right to "legally marry the one he loves." The letter reads in part:
Terry DeCrescenzo, founder of the Gay and Lesbian Adolescent Social Services and a friend of Starr's told The Times: "In that time, a lot of us lost hope. Not Adele. And PFLAG became enormously important because it was rock solid.... She was a good woman. She'll be missed."
PFLAG now has more than 200,000 in chapters across the county. Jody M. Huckaby, PFLAG National's Executive Director said in a statement posted on PFLAG's website:
Read additional tributes to Adele Starr from past PFLAG presidents.
We cannot understand those arrogant people who have decided that a heterosexual lifestyle must be imposed on everyone and that they have a monopoly on morality...The American way is respect for diversity with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.At PFLAG's 10th anniversary conference, Starr explained her activism: "We did it out of love and anger and a sense of injustice, and because we had to tell the world the truth about our children."
Terry DeCrescenzo, founder of the Gay and Lesbian Adolescent Social Services and a friend of Starr's told The Times: "In that time, a lot of us lost hope. Not Adele. And PFLAG became enormously important because it was rock solid.... She was a good woman. She'll be missed."
PFLAG now has more than 200,000 in chapters across the county. Jody M. Huckaby, PFLAG National's Executive Director said in a statement posted on PFLAG's website:
Adele Starr was one of the pioneers of PFLAG. It is because of her commitment to organizing the many people who were working for the common goal of equality for all into the organization that we now know as PFLAG that we have gained the strength, prominence, and ability to become the voice of parents and allies united for equality.Services will be held at noon Monday at Mount Sinai Hollywood Hills, 5950 Forest Lawn Drive, Los Angeles.
Read additional tributes to Adele Starr from past PFLAG presidents.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Loving myself gay, loving myself fat By Rev. Emily C. Heath
I stood stunned at the edge of the football field. Our touch football game had ended and I'd had a brief conversation with a woman who made a significant living off her public reputation as a feminist and LGBT activist. I didn't know her well. We'd had brief conversations in the past, but had never so much as shared a cup of coffee. So I had been surprised when, as we prepared to go our separate ways, she called me back.
"I know this is none of my business, but...."
I braced myself. I knew what was coming next. You see, I've been fat my whole life. My first experiences of bullying as a child were around weight. Since then I haven't gone a day without being aware of the fact that I'm heavy. So, when she recited those magical words that everyone thinks excuses what comes out of their mouth next (I know this is none of my business, but...), I knew it was going to be about my weight.
Now, I'm not going to detail my medical history here because, frankly, it's no one's business. And besides, there would just be the argument from some that fat people use medical issues as an excuse. Those people will say fat people just need to "diet and exercise." And then there are the people who will talk about personal obesity using the rhetoric of a "public health crisis." There has always been plenty of objectification of fat people as either lazy moral failures, walking medical cases, or piteous lesser-thans.
I'm used to that. When I was looking for a position as a pastor I had an experience where a congregation was heavily vetting me. We had great phone conversations and seemed like an ideal fit. And then they met me. The chair of the committee made sure to mention several times that she was a Weight Watchers leader. I received a rejection letter several days later. I could tell ten more stories like this off the top of my head, and I'm sure other fat people could do the same.
But then there is another whole level of rhetoric. The rhetoric of full-blown, undisguised size-phobia.
Recently Maura Kelly, a columnist for Marie Claire, wrote a column detailing her disgust with a new show called Mike and Molly. Full disclosure, I've never been a reader of Marie Claire or any similar magazine and I've never seen Mike and Molly. But the outcry about Kelly's article has been too great to ignore for those of us who are fat. Here's an excerpt from "Should 'Fatties' Get a Room":
"So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine (sic) addict slumping in a chair."
Suddenly I'm not only fat (or, in Kelly's language, a "fattie") but I'm "gross" and the moral equivalent of a heroin addict. Kelly's analysis is one part junior high mean girl and one part pop psychologist. (And, just for fun, read Kelly's whole article and insert "gay" into every "fat." Sound familiar?)
But, as much as Kelly's words disgust me, they don't personally affect me as much as the very real size-phobia I've witnessed in the LGBTQ community. I'm always amazed that a community that values diversity and respect for others can be so judgmental, occasionally to the point of being bullying, when it comes to weight. Even in the bear community there is a growing, increasingly bitter, separation of "muscle bears" from the "lesser," heavier bears.
Which is tragic. Because, if there's one thing LGBTQ pride should promote it's the idea that we can love ourselves and feel value in ourselves, just as we are. That's the ideal, but it's not the reality.
So, as I walked away from the football field last month, advice on how I should try Weight Watchers ringing in my ears (because, really, I'd never heard of them before), I left with that old familiar feeling of shame. As I met friends for lunch, I beat myself up for wanting a hamburger more than a salad. As I walked the streets of Provincetown, a place where I have always felt good about just being myself, I suddenly felt like everyone was looking me and just seeing a fat person. As I caught up with old friends, I wondered if they saw me or they just saw my weight.
Then I realized how absolutely messed up that was. Here I was, in the middle of maybe the most gay-friendly mile in America, hating myself. And, really, I've spent enough of my life hating myself. I came out because I chose not to hate myself anymore. And I'm not going to hate myself because someone at a football game feels the need to project their fat-phobia on me.
One of the things I've always loved about both feminist and LGBT activism is that both understand that liberation does not come in isolation. As a young activist I learned that racism, anti-Semitism and ageism were now my fights too. Bigotry against any group affects every group.
The same is true around issues of size acceptance. If the LGBTQ community continues to tolerate sizeism in our life together, our community is the less for it. If we continue to tell brothers and sisters that they are somehow less worthy because they are heavy, we lose part of our witness to equality. And if we continue to buy into manufactured standards of what is attractive or acceptable or right, we open ourselves up to criticism on other levels as well.
There are some great activists doing work around size acceptance in our community. One group composed of such activists is NoLose, which hosts conferences and other programs around fat acceptance in the lesbian and trans communities. Other grassroots groups are doing similar activism. I believe our community will be better for their work. But there's still a lot of work to do. As I walked away from the football field on that day, that was all too clear to me.
November 7, 2010
about Rev. Heath
"I know this is none of my business, but...."
I braced myself. I knew what was coming next. You see, I've been fat my whole life. My first experiences of bullying as a child were around weight. Since then I haven't gone a day without being aware of the fact that I'm heavy. So, when she recited those magical words that everyone thinks excuses what comes out of their mouth next (I know this is none of my business, but...), I knew it was going to be about my weight.
Now, I'm not going to detail my medical history here because, frankly, it's no one's business. And besides, there would just be the argument from some that fat people use medical issues as an excuse. Those people will say fat people just need to "diet and exercise." And then there are the people who will talk about personal obesity using the rhetoric of a "public health crisis." There has always been plenty of objectification of fat people as either lazy moral failures, walking medical cases, or piteous lesser-thans.
I'm used to that. When I was looking for a position as a pastor I had an experience where a congregation was heavily vetting me. We had great phone conversations and seemed like an ideal fit. And then they met me. The chair of the committee made sure to mention several times that she was a Weight Watchers leader. I received a rejection letter several days later. I could tell ten more stories like this off the top of my head, and I'm sure other fat people could do the same.
But then there is another whole level of rhetoric. The rhetoric of full-blown, undisguised size-phobia.
Recently Maura Kelly, a columnist for Marie Claire, wrote a column detailing her disgust with a new show called Mike and Molly. Full disclosure, I've never been a reader of Marie Claire or any similar magazine and I've never seen Mike and Molly. But the outcry about Kelly's article has been too great to ignore for those of us who are fat. Here's an excerpt from "Should 'Fatties' Get a Room":
"So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room -- just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine (sic) addict slumping in a chair."
Suddenly I'm not only fat (or, in Kelly's language, a "fattie") but I'm "gross" and the moral equivalent of a heroin addict. Kelly's analysis is one part junior high mean girl and one part pop psychologist. (And, just for fun, read Kelly's whole article and insert "gay" into every "fat." Sound familiar?)
But, as much as Kelly's words disgust me, they don't personally affect me as much as the very real size-phobia I've witnessed in the LGBTQ community. I'm always amazed that a community that values diversity and respect for others can be so judgmental, occasionally to the point of being bullying, when it comes to weight. Even in the bear community there is a growing, increasingly bitter, separation of "muscle bears" from the "lesser," heavier bears.
Which is tragic. Because, if there's one thing LGBTQ pride should promote it's the idea that we can love ourselves and feel value in ourselves, just as we are. That's the ideal, but it's not the reality.
So, as I walked away from the football field last month, advice on how I should try Weight Watchers ringing in my ears (because, really, I'd never heard of them before), I left with that old familiar feeling of shame. As I met friends for lunch, I beat myself up for wanting a hamburger more than a salad. As I walked the streets of Provincetown, a place where I have always felt good about just being myself, I suddenly felt like everyone was looking me and just seeing a fat person. As I caught up with old friends, I wondered if they saw me or they just saw my weight.
Then I realized how absolutely messed up that was. Here I was, in the middle of maybe the most gay-friendly mile in America, hating myself. And, really, I've spent enough of my life hating myself. I came out because I chose not to hate myself anymore. And I'm not going to hate myself because someone at a football game feels the need to project their fat-phobia on me.
One of the things I've always loved about both feminist and LGBT activism is that both understand that liberation does not come in isolation. As a young activist I learned that racism, anti-Semitism and ageism were now my fights too. Bigotry against any group affects every group.
The same is true around issues of size acceptance. If the LGBTQ community continues to tolerate sizeism in our life together, our community is the less for it. If we continue to tell brothers and sisters that they are somehow less worthy because they are heavy, we lose part of our witness to equality. And if we continue to buy into manufactured standards of what is attractive or acceptable or right, we open ourselves up to criticism on other levels as well.
There are some great activists doing work around size acceptance in our community. One group composed of such activists is NoLose, which hosts conferences and other programs around fat acceptance in the lesbian and trans communities. Other grassroots groups are doing similar activism. I believe our community will be better for their work. But there's still a lot of work to do. As I walked away from the football field on that day, that was all too clear to me.
November 7, 2010
about Rev. Heath
Sunday, November 7, 2010
For those who have been forgotten
While all violence is abhorrent, the violence is usually not based on what you are, but who you are. GLBT are targeted for what we are. Some of our "family" are more vulnerable to being a victim of violence. Primarily young gays and transgender people seem to be targeted much more than the rest of our population.
According to a 2008 report from the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP), anti-transgender bias is reported crimes is holding steady, in fact, it has increased 12 percent over the previous year. 1
Gender Public Advocacy Campaign found that a majority of the victims were killed with violence "beyond that necessary to terminate life." In some cases, assailants continued to bludgeon, stab or shoot the victims even after death. 2
Enter into this picture Ethan St. Pierre, who in 1999 organized the first candlelight vigil in San Francisco, beginning Transgender Day of Remembrance. On the website Ethan has this to say,
The Transgender Day of Remembrance serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people, an action that current media doesn’t perform. Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of our brothers and sisters who might otherwise be forgotten. Through the vigil, we express love and respect for our people in the face of national indifference and hatred. Day of Remembrance reminds non-transgender people that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends and lovers. Day of Remembrance gives our allies a chance to step forward with us and stand in vigil, memorializing those of us who’ve died by anti-transgender violence.During the next few days and into the coming weeks candlelight vigils are being held through out the world. I'm not sure if every community that is holding vigils are listed. If you are interested in attending a vigil I would suggest checking with your local GLBT community center.
The more that I read, the more I'm totally convinced that many Americans are unaware of the hatred, bigotry and bullying that our family lives with on a daily basis. Our plight has been worsened by the religious right spewing hate from the pulpit, that has stymied our attempts to gain civil rights with the might of the ballot box. Sadly this summer this climate of hate has caused several of our most vulnerable family members to give up on tomorrow. Criminally the schools blamed the victims, instead of the atmosphere that allowed unchecked bullying.
We all know what the pink campaign has done to raise awareness for breast cancer. It's time for GLBT to start a rainbow campaign. It's also time for the patchwork quilt of GLBT civil rights organizations to be stitched into one single and much more powerful organization. We need corporate backing, famous people to join our cause for civil rights, for our ability to live free and fearless. I think we should pick the month of June, which has been the traditional month for marriages, high lighting one of our "lost" civil rights.
If you have a belief system, say a prayer for those who have left us, due to suicide, murder, and AIDS. If not, then pause for a moment in your day, and hold a moment of silence for our missing members.
1. http://www.edgeboston.com/index.php?ch=news&sc=&sc2=news&sc3=&id=96920
2. http://newstandardnews.net/content/index.cfm/items/4103
http://my.execpc.com/~dmmunson/Nov99_7.htm
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